perfectly able to hold my own hand, but I still can't kiss my own neck

City Whispers

by Ray K. Metzker

How strange talking is

what mists rise and fall -- how one loses the other and then thinks to have found the other -- then down comes another soft final curtain. . . . But it is incredible -- don't you feel -- how mysterious and isolated we each of us are -- at the last. I suppose one ought to make this discovery once and for all, but I seem to be always making it again.

Katherine Mansfield, numa carta datada de 1921 (via)

You Don't Own Me

aproveitando a deixa.

I shall say it again.

          You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again.
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
     You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
     You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
     You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
     You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.

You say I am repeating (from The Four Quartets) by T. S. Eliot

they'll try to steal that flame from in your eyes

candy
please don't let them in your heart
because they'll try to put out every fire you start

candy
you can light the match again
and as they try to run and hide
we'll burn down everything in sight

oh, candy
your touch is like a veil over my eyes
and when we're driving in your car
i could be anyone tonight

oh, candy
please don't let them in your heart
because they'll try to steal that flame from in your eyes

oh, candy
oh, candy


a recordar os vícios musicais deste verão.

notes to self

• You don’t have to achieve great things by the time you’re 25
• You have intrinsic value above and beyond your perceived utility to other people and society at large.
• You don’t have to have sex, or have sex in any way that you find uncomfortable or unpleasant, to keep anyone’s love or good opinion of you. They didn’t love you or think very well of you to start with if they demand it.
• You don’t have to stay with someone who isn’t meeting your emotional or sexual needs because they need you, or you’ve been with them for awhile, or you need to be in a relationship. You need you. Your time is your own and it is finite.
• It’s ok to work at a job you enjoy that doesn’t make you miserable even if it’s not a career and it won’t “lead to anything.”
• Your life is not a narrative. It is not leading to anything, there is no overarching thesis, it does not have themes beyond the usual shared cultural experiences of your time and place. This is ok. It does not mean that your life is without purpose or meaning.
• It’s ok not to like or get along with the vast majority of people you encounter, so long as you afford them the same respect, courtesy and dignity that they afford you.
• Expensive is not always better.
• Failure is temporary if you’re still alive.
• People are both much better and much worse than you’d suspect, but usually not all at once.
• Stop thinking of your future self as a different person and it will be easier to prevent money and health problems.
• Let people help you, lean on them when you need to, and be available to help, but don’t swing too far in either direction. Try to carry your half of the life basket as evenly as you can.
• Set boundaries, and do not be afraid to kick people out of your life who disregard them. You will not end up alone and unloved. People who love you will be ok with your boundaries.
• Your power does not come from money or beauty, but from seeing life steadily and wholly, from a curious and thoughtful mind, and from your ability to say no when you want to, and yes when you want to, and I don’t know when you don’t know.
• There will be bad times, maybe lots of bad times, but not only bad times.
• Love will not heal the wounds in your soul, but love can give you the impetus to begin the work of healing yourself.
• Life might be a long series of starting over, and that’s alright.
• You’re really cool, you’re really beautiful, you’re really special. Really. Not to everyone, but to a lot of someones sometimes. 

from Things I want to tell people, that I wish people had told me

o nada que é tudo

I believe that around us there is only one word on all sides, one immense word which reveals our solitude and extinguishes our radiance: Nothing! I believe that that word does not point to our insignificance or our unhappiness, but on the contrary to our fulfillment and our divinity, since everything is in ourselves.

from Hell by Henri Barbusse

dos dias em que preferias não ter saído da cama

have you ever woke up feeling like you just run the marathon. all your body aches.
you lose your appetite. you can't even inhale properly, the simple act of breathing demands so much effort from you.
what am I doing wrong, you wonder, when hours of sleep suck all your energy, when it should be the other way around.

There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.

(via Brain Pickings)

para lembrar que não há mal nenhum em ser-se introvertido.

hoje levo esta para a cama

We Drift Like Worried Fire by Godspeed You! Black Emperor

dos filmes mindfuck

- Are... Are you okay?

- I'm not... I'm not okay. I went to another world, Rosemary. I see what others cannot see.

- Please...

- I looked into the eye of God. It looked right back through me. It looked through everything. Rosemary, it was so, so, so beautiful. Like a black rainbow. And it chose me. It chose to reveal itself to me.
You're nothing. You're less than nothing. Just... spit in the wind.

from Beyond The Black Rainbow

acaricias o mundo em vez de agarrá-lo

'All your stories are so touchingly young. You say far more about the impressions which things inspire in you than about the things and objects themselves. That is lyrical poetry. You caress the world, instead of grasping it.'
'So my writing is worthless?'
Kafka grasped my hand,
'I did not say that. Certainly these little stories have a value for you. Every written word is a personal document. But art…'
'Art is different,' I continued bitterly.
'Your written is not yet art,' said Kafka firmly. 'This description of feelings and impressions is most of all a hesitant groping for the world. The eyes are still heavy with dreams. But in time that will cease and then perhaps the outstretched groping hand will withdraw as if caught by the fire. Perhaps you will cry out, stammer incoherently, or grind your teeth together and open your eyes wide, very wide. But - these are only words. Art is always a matter of the entire personality. For that reason it is fundamentally tragic.'

from Conversations with Kafka by Gustav Janouch

Reading The Greens

não querendo violar os direitos de autor de determinada música lembrei-me de reeditar a seguinte experiência.

acontece que durante o processo viciei-me na Reading The Greens dos Hogan Grip e agora não consigo parar de visualizar o meu próprio vídeo. how off is that?

you have to make films from the perspective of the weak

Do you believe that movies are still an effective way to inform young people?

I'm not talking about education. What I'm after is telling the truth. Movies are entertainment, but that doesn't stop us from telling the truth through them. In Harada's film you get Beethoven on the soundtrack and Koji Yakusho as the chief of police. It's a hymn to the cops, but it was those same cops that pushed those kids to go as far as they did. If it's a profit you're after, there are other ways to make money than by making films. Me, I try to at least remain truthful when I make my films. Also, a true filmmaker doesn't make films from the point of view of those in power. To me, that's a fundamental rule: you have to make films from the perspective of the weak. Take Akira Kurosawa, for instance. His films were always about the downtrodden.

entrevista a Koji Wakamatsu (via Mignight Eye)

o realizador japonês faleceu hoje, 5 dias após ter sido atropelado por um taxi em Tokyo.

nos tempos livres

Ingmar Bergman & Liv Ullmann no set do filme Hour of the Wolf
(via This Must Be The Place)

You say what you want to say when you don't care who's listening.

Allen Ginsberg & Neal Cassady (via Art Lies)

I'm so feeling this...

não consigo entender se os arrepios na nuca são do frio horrível que se faz sentir hoje, se da música. possivelmente os dois, aliados ao vídeo.
(via the curious brain)

A man attaches himself to a woman - not to enjoy her, but to enjoy himself.*

(via pauses between thought)

* Simone de Beauvoir

You Have To Be Careful

You have to be careful telling things.
Some ears are like tunnels.
Your words will go in and get lost in the dark.
Some ears are flat pans like the miners used
looking for gold.
What you say will be washed out with the stones.

You look a long time till you find the right ears.
Till then, there are birds and lamps to be spoken to,
a patient cloth rubbing shine in circles,
and the slow, gradually growing possibility
that when you find such ears,
they already know.

from Words Under the Words by Naomi Shihab Nye

perishable.

aprendam com as mariposas.

está-me a falhar alguma coisa?

o ryan gosling, a rooney mara, o christian bale, a natalie portman, o michael fassbender e..e.. o lizardman? todos juntos num filme do Terrence Malick?

(via)

amigas passageiras

a propósito do surto de borboletas que para aqui vai neste quarto, lembrei-me duma passagem que sublinhei no 1Q84, do Haruki Murakami

Às borboletas, mesmo sem nome, consigo distingui-las pela forma e pelos desenhos. Além disso, de pouco ou nada me serviria dar-lhes um nome, uma vez que não tardam a morrer. Digamos que são amigas passageiras sem nome. Venho aqui todos os dias, visito-as e falo com elas acerca de vários assuntos. Quando é chegada a sua hora, as borboletas desaparecem, sem fazer alarde. De certeza que isso significa que morreram, porém, a verdade é que nunca encontrei o corpo delas sem vida. Desaparecem sem deixar rasto, como se tivessem sido absorvidas pelo ar. As mariposas são, acima de tudo, criaturas de uma elegância efémera: vêm do nada, procuram tranquilamente um número limitado de coisas e voltam a desvanecer-se em silêncio. Talvez regressem a um mundo diferente deste.

to panic in fear or bask in nothingness, that is the question

If a tree fell in the forest, and you were the only one there to hear it; if its fall to the ground didn’t make a sound, would you panic in fear that you didn’t exist, or would you bask in the bliss of your nothingness?

by Andrea Gibson


(eu diria que tinha perdido momentaneamente a audição)

o que é que ela anda a ver às 2h da manhã..

dos vícios

o raio da música. primeiro estranhou-se, depois entranhou-se.

keeping people away

Why one reads is important. If it’s just for escape, that’s all right, it’s like taking junk, it’s meaningless. It’s kind of an insult to yourself. Like modern conversation—it’s used to keep people away from one another, because people don’t feel assaulted by conversation so much as silence. People have to make conversation in order to fill up this void. Void is terrifying to most people. We can’t have a direct confrontation with somebody in silence—because what you’re really having is a full and more meaningful confrontation.

by Marlon Brando (via The Paris Review)

uma súbita vontade de voar até Saravejo

Hungarian arthouse director Bela Tarr is opening a PhD-level filmmaking academy in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina.
The Film Factory, housed in Sarajevo University's School of Science and Technology, will bring together some of the world's top directors to teach a full-time, three-year program, culminating in students making full-length features.

(via Unspoken Cinema)

Cry, cry, cry 'til you know why

Know Who You Are At Every Age by Cocteau Twins

I'm not real and I deny
I won't heal unless I cry
I can't grieve so I won't grow
I won't heal 'til I let it go


a acrescentar à bucketlist: fazer um videoclip para uma música dos Cocteau Twins