She couldn't hold on to it and make sure it never changed.

I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that are concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it was… And I think that’s why she struggled with love. She couldn't touch it. She couldn't hold on to it and make sure it never changed.

The Dead-Tossed Waves, Carrie Ryan